NOAH--IMO the most bizzaro film of our time

YJ02

YJ02

Well Known GateFan
Yeah, NOAH==Russel Crowe, Emma Watson,Anthony Hopkins big names, well known bible story and how every culture has some type of flood story,blah,blah...

so I thought it would be another fairly well acted and watchable Bible story albeit with modern SFX

wow, was I wrong!

I mean, this story takes a work of fantasy (either Gilgamesh's flood or in Genesis-your pick) and makes it even more fantastical!

Imaginary creatures, like the dog like thing with the armadillo plates, or the fallen angel turned to stone creature (I could have sworn I saw this same type of creature in the old LOST IN SPACE tv series) and the idea that the entire earth was populated by an industrial civilization was just--wow

I mean, I am all about wanting to believe in the facts about 'lost civ's' as modern science discovers them-but when the TPTB's of this film and the whack a do ANCIENT ALIENS crowd starts spouting stuff like this, it just erodes any credibility from real world finds of lost ages

THen the use of there special glowing rock stuff (stand in for oil and our use of it today?) they use for everything from forging metal (to see them using well honed steel knives and swords was just freaking comical!) to pregnancy testing--I mean, could they have been any more blatant with their extreme environmentalist message?

And to the fantastical-izing the fantasy--this movie would have been like if someone made LOTR's and set it in space with all of the characters being aliens--or redoing ST tos in an entire old american west setting--no ships just cowboy federation and klingons

get my drift?

did you see this movie? its on netflix, to watch it and see they are taking themselves serious is also another "wow"

I read some reviews after i watched. one said, "if you liked star wars and the lord of the rings you will LOVE NOAH!" was just so entirely wrong
 
Joelist

Joelist

What ship is this?
Staff member
I felt like the director was on LSD when he made it. To call it utter crap would be an understatement. I also am sick and tired of Hollywood types inserting their "agendas" into their films and in this case the environmental stuff was way too heavy handed. It's like Elysium - don't preach at me in movies.
 
Illiterati

Illiterati

Council Member & Author
I had no desire to see it. Anything even vaguely smacking of being a "Biblical" pic just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Not watching any of that Roma Downey garbage, either. Just people trying to buy their way into Hebbin.
 
Overmind One

Overmind One

GateFans Gatemaster
Staff member
Illiterati said:
I had no desire to see it. Anything even vaguely smacking of being a "Biblical" pic just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Not watching any of that Roma Downey garbage, either. Just people trying to buy their way into Hebbin.
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My sentiments exactly. :) I still have no desire to see this.
 
YJ02

YJ02

Well Known GateFan
Illiterati said:
I had no desire to see it. Anything even vaguely smacking of being a "Biblical" pic just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Not watching any of that Roma Downey garbage, either. Just people trying to buy their way into Hebbin.
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Overmind One said:
My sentiments exactly. :) I still have no desire to see this.
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Oh-I had no "desire" to watch it-just did cause it was on NETFLIX and I would never have paid specifically for this flick

what i mean is--and I think JOE knows pretty much what I mean--in the past most movies with a religious them (any religion) are either heavily secularized with just faint touches of the religion

stuff like BEN HUR or TROY are examples of past movies that were indeed watchable and entertaining with much of the religiousity removed

BUT THIS one, this one is way beyond the scope of anything said in the bible

It is beyond what anyone has ever considered putting into the bible:

magic rocks that make fire and can test for pregnancy--made up creatures--total mis-representation of the Nephilim--Sumerian aged ppl's using steel weapons and even a type of "bazooka"--I was waiting for them to pull out a computer or cell phone it was getting so weird

as i said before it is a work that (and excuse the verbage here because there is really no other way of describing the bizarreness) "fictionalizes the bible's fantasies"--it picks up on a major biblical story (and lets not forget-if you had no upbringing in any of the Abrahamic religions you would have heard this same story in college lit when you learned about Gilgamesh) and adds more levels of fantasy to it

I just don't know how they managed to keep these well known actors attached to the work-other then maybe they bought off on the enviro-whacko aspect of its message

And I am convinced that is the only reason the movie got good reviews-for its environmental message

(it did at least support Darwinian evolution though)
-------------------------------

as for the truly religious movies like the Downey stuff or the LEFT BEHIND things--I never watched them--from what I did see in trailers and adds-they seem like desperate measures to gain converts to extreme christianity
 
Jim of WVa

Jim of WVa

Well Known GateFan
yongjin02 said:
Oh-I had no "desire" to watch it-just did cause it was on NETFLIX and I would never have paid specifically for this flick

what i mean is--and I think JOE knows pretty much what I mean--in the past most movies with a religious them (any religion) are either heavily secularized with just faint touches of the religion

stuff like BEN HUR or TROY are examples of past movies that were indeed watchable and entertaining with much of the religiousity removed

...
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The week before the most recent Troy (2004) was released. The History Channel showed the miniseries, Helen of Troy (2003).
 
Jim of WVa

Jim of WVa

Well Known GateFan
Tripler said:
Ooops . Just Noah was garbage lol . I did not see Helen of Troy ... Is it good ?

:) :) :)
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Yes, the miniseries Helen of Troy was a low budget wonder that told the story from Helen's perspective.

My memory is flawed. I thought that Alice Krige was in it, but she was in the miniseries Attila (2001).
 
Rac80

Rac80

The Belle of the Ball
Noah-- based on an atheists version of a religion called Kabbalah. It was truly heckle-worthy! Noah wore jeans and looked like a leftover 60's hippie, the "magical rock people" were just...SMH. the producers were furious that the evangelical community didn't flock to it. Excuse me, you take a character beloved by many and turn him into a enviro-wacko-psychotic and wonder why they don't want to see it? just OMG how stupid do you think they are? As to Exodus gods & kings - even worse or so I hear, at least the evangelicals didn't even give that a first look.

I don't bother with the roma downey stuff either - I don't like my bible in modern english - the King James version is more poetic. ;) a side note- it seems utah has the fewest people watching the roma doney AD "tv event" and there have been articles in the newspapers encouraging more mormons to watch the show - but again - I am like most mormons - no modern english versions for us. Give us the King James.
 
Jim of WVa

Jim of WVa

Well Known GateFan
Rac80 said:
Noah-- based on an atheists version of a religion called Kabbalah. It was truly heckle-worthy! Noah wore jeans and looked like a leftover 60's hippie, the "magical rock people" were just...SMH. the producers were furious that the evangelical community didn't flock to it. Excuse me, you take a character beloved by many and turn him into a enviro-wacko-psychotic and wonder why they don't want to see it? just OMG how stupid do you think they are? As to Exodus gods & kings - even worse or so I hear, at least the evangelicals didn't even give that a first look.

I don't bother with the roma downey stuff either - I don't like my bible in modern english - the King James version is more poetic. ;) a side note- it seems utah has the fewest people watching the roma doney AD "tv event" and there have been articles in the newspapers encouraging more mormons to watch the show - but again - I am like most mormons - no modern english versions for us. Give us the King James.
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Can't have the rank and file understanding what they read. :hypnotysed:
 
shavedape

shavedape

Well Known GateFan
‘We’ve got to get the story straight’ said Noah. ‘How can we say, “And God spake unto Noah and told him to build an ocean-going ark from fibre-glass with a reinforced steel hull’? It reads like an enthusiast’s magazine, not the inspired word of God. Gopher wood is much more poetic’

Jeanette Winterson -- "Boating for Beginners"
 
YJ02

YJ02

Well Known GateFan
Rac80 said:
Noah-- based on an atheists version of a religion called Kabbalah. It was truly heckle-worthy! Noah wore jeans and looked like a leftover 60's hippie, the "magical rock people" were just...SMH. the producers were furious that the evangelical community didn't flock to it. Excuse me, you take a character beloved by many and turn him into a enviro-wacko-psychotic and wonder why they don't want to see it? just OMG how stupid do you think they are? As to Exodus gods & kings - even worse or so I hear, at least the evangelicals didn't even give that a first look.

I don't bother with the roma downey stuff either - I don't like my bible in modern english - the King James version is more poetic. ;) a side note- it seems utah has the fewest people watching the roma doney AD "tv event" and there have been articles in the newspapers encouraging more mormons to watch the show - but again - I am like most mormons - no modern english versions for us. Give us the King James.
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Yes- Crowe's NOAH--a fantasy by biblical standards!!
 
G

Gatefan1976

Well Known GateFan
Tripler said:
Neither is Scientology lol
I have no idea as to what kaballalwalladingdong is or what the hell the scientolgy freeks are or do ...

:) :) :)
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Scientology is a religion. It is however it's own brand of "special"
 
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